Seeing Hope and Touch Not the Cat

 

The Touch Not the Cat blog has become a place to share my journey and reflections on life and relationships.

Anywhere and somewhere

 

One attitude that has provided beneficial to me over the past few decades is to expect that meditation on Scripture will inform me about the events of today. As I considered the Roman Catholic liturgical texts for Dec 4, Friday of the First Week of Advent, I found resonance with our hope for the future and my desire to decrease the tribalism in our social and political engagement in this time of tension around great change in the way we live with a global pandemic, a climate crisis, and the inequality rooted in privilege in our society. The hope in the vision of Isaiah (circa 700 BCE) “For the tyrant shall be no more, the scoffer shall cease to be” (Isaiah 29:20) and “Those who err in spirit shall acquire understanding, those who find fault shall receive instruction.” (Isaiah 29:24) prompts me to consider how we might reduce the impact of the scoffer in our discussions and be open to receive instruction that will reduce our tendency to be fault finding in our social encounters. As I ponder how to reduce the action of scoffers and fault finders, I tend to seek understanding of the social and economic playing field. An article by Aaron Wherry of CBC News has the title “Where you live is who you are: Erin O'Toole and the new culture war” He observes that as political arguments go, it has its limits. Wherry asks “Will it work?” 

Readers of Stephen Harper's book Right Here, Right Now, published in 2018, will be familiar with O'Toole's framing. The former prime minister was quite taken with the idea that many Western democracies can be divided between rooted "Somewheres" and relatively rootless "Anywheres". But the theory originated with David Goodhart, a British writer whose own book, The Road to Somewhere, linked the Brexit vote to leave the European Union — and other populist revolts, including the election of Donald Trump — to divisions over culture and identity. In short, Goodhart posits that the traditional politics of left and right, liberal and conservative, are now overlaid by a "larger and looser" distinction "between the people who see the world from Anywhere and the people who see it from Somewhere." O'Toole has lamented that wages have stagnated, private sector union membership has dropped and many Canadians no longer have robust pensions or benefits. What would he do to address those things? O'Toole's Conservatives like to say that Canada has become more divided since Justin Trudeau became prime minister, an argument that rests heavily on the idea of "Western alienation." But would O'Toole's approach produce less division — or would it simply anger a different set of people? Should those whose opinions are more in line with the Anywheres worry that their priorities would be neglected or attacked under an O'Toole government? Division and frustration can be used to drive political campaigns, but it's not obvious that they make it any easier to govern. Durable, lasting change typically requires broad support.1

Discussion of our response to the changes we see in our society needs to affirm the positive values of people on all sides of the debate.

 

References

1(2020, December 4). Where you live is who you are: Erin O'Toole and the new .... Retrieved December 4, 2020, from https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/erin-otoole-culture-war-pandemic-statues-immigration-1.5826976

A Thanksgiving for Parents

 

After spending some time with my family, this weekend, in the backyard of my son and daughter-in-law, I have reflected on my thankfulness for the gift of being parents that my sons, daughter, and niece and their spouses are living.

Most of the family mentioned below

(Chris, Crystal, Gary, Deb, Gabe, are absent from picture)

 

My experience is that the key to excellent encounters with parents is to focus on their children. We have much to be thankful for and I will review the past year through my interaction with the children. My thanksgiving for Fall 2019 is highlighted by my being with Reid when we would hang out after “pre-school” and seeing his parents Pat and Nea through his eyes.

Reid and Fall Frisbee

 

The past winter offered drives to medical appointments with Lilly and Miles and appreciating their maturing as older teens. Their parents, Chris and Crystal were very generous with helping Farris and I in my weeks of cancer treatment and the Covid-19 days of the winter.

 

Summer 2020 Lilly and Miles

My gratitude for Farris loving care in treatment, surgery, and recovery is immeasurable. Our sharing experiences of the children and teens in the family helped fill the hours and warm the days.

Papa and Sity walk with Locklin

 

In the spring, visits with Locklin brought much joy and thankfulness, especially for the generosity of his parents, George and Katie in their attention to Farris and I.

Locklin Fall 2020

 

As Summer dawned, connection with Kim and Tyler was enhanced by talking about how Gabe was navigating early teens amid all our isolation.

Kim, Tyler, and Gabe Spring 2017

 

I am very thankful for how the parents of Gabe and Reid were able to rally on very short notice to set up a great bed for my recovery after an early release from hospital after my surgery.

The excellent bed

 

I will always be thankful for the wonderful people, health professionals and patients, who I encountered in my journey through diagnosis, treatment, surgery, and recovery this year.

 

People and Health Professionals care here

Talking about children and grandchildren always brought so many smiles in those days. As Fall 2020 continues I am thankful that Joelle, and her parents Ashley and Ryan

Ashley, Joelle, and Ryan 

have drawn my brother Gary and his spouse Deb to live in Nova Scotia after their decades together in Western Canada and northwestern US.

 

Pauline, Gary, and Deb

As “grandparents” we are always thankful for this stage of our lives where our love of our grandchildren opens so many opportunities to celebrate thanksgiving in all the seasons of life.

Six weeks later

Aug 3 marks six weeks post op for me. This is the length of time that the discharge instructions advise to avoid strenuous activity.

Summer in Public Gardens

I enjoyed a walk in the Halifax Public Gardens yesterday. I am not quite ready to lift weights or paddle my kayak but my strength is returning and I feel very well. Farris and I have been able to visit with the family including some very satisfying time with our young grandsons Reid (5 yrs), and Locklin (20 months).

Reid and Locklin

As I shared in my last update, the pathology report after the surgery was very good. There was no cancer found in the tissues examined. A CT Scan will be scheduled for me in December to have another look for cancer cells. I am thankful for all the excellent work and care from the health care professionals on my case since December 2019. I send special thanks to all the people who supported me in their thoughts and prayers. I now hope to enjoy some summer activity with friends and family while remaining observant of Covid-19 precautions.

Family Doctor inputs and takeaways

I have found that following the rules during this journey is a very good policy.

Twenty One days post-op

The Discharge Summary that we received on June 30 contained instructions for care of wounds, antibiotic cycle completion, and “visit” with my family doctor. “Nurse Farris” has managed the list and made sure we observed all the rules. The family doctor “visit” was conducted by phone. Our family doctor echoed the expression from the surgeon that things had gone very well. He read the “pathology report” to us. It indicated that cancer cells were not found in the tissues, other than the tumour, taken during surgery for biopsy. This is a very welcome report. I have some sutures to be removed in the next few days. My family doctor will come to our home to remove them. He decided that this was the best procedure while we are still self isolating in the Covid 19 times. Everyday I am getting stronger and feeling more like myself. I am thankful to God and the support of family and friends as I went from pre-op to post-op. The last item on the Discharge Summary is a “phone visit” from the surgeon scheduled for the 21st of July.

Thoracic Surgery Journey

Thoracic Surgery

In the week of June 15 - June 20, we received a surgery date of June 22.

Thoracic Surgery Journey

The Covid precautions meant I had to prepare for a possible 10 days when I could not have hospital visitors. I was sad about this as I sat in a pre-op waiting room. (The Health Authority allowed Farris to have a one hour visit every day beginning on June 23. Whew!!) I am pretty sure that I “went under” around 8:00 am and Farris received a call from the surgeon around 4:00 pm. I went from the operating room to the IMCU (Intensive Monitoring Care Unit). Skipping the stop in the ICU, is an indication that that surgery was performed without complications.. This indication was confirmed by the health professionals who cared for me post op. I tried very hard to follow the procedures around pain management, lung rehabilitation, walking, and diet. On June 30, I was discharged and I continue to follow the appropriate procedures under the guidance of “Nurse Farris”. A follow-up with the surgeon will be scheduled in 4-6 weeks.

Strength in adversity

This part of my journey has strengthened my belief in the kindness of people. I have been meditating on the power of empathy to build up caring relationships among people. We cannot entirely walk in the shoes of the other, but the common experience of fighting a serious disease through disabling surgery is uniquely strengthening my physical, psychological, and spiritual well being.

What’s ahead?

One member of the surgical team was explaining that recovery is a process and he assured Farris and I that by Christmas I would be able to enjoy the traditional fare. Until then, “Dietician Farris” is developing more skills in preparing liquid and soft foods.


The empathy and comradery of those sharing my journey and the kindness and excellent medical care of the professionals is a major "take a away" of this 8 day experience.

Thank you for your prayers and support that I felt as the positive energy to celebrate the efforts of all concerned with gratitude and affirmation that people care.

MRI and more

On Monday June 15, I had a MRI scan at the VG Hospital.

Summer on the way

Today, the surgeon phoned to tell me that the MRI shows a healthy liver. He thought surgery hopefully could be scheduled in a couple of weeks. The surgery will involve removal of a section of the esophagus and extension of the stomach to replace the removed section. This procedure takes about 6 hours and requires a 10 day hospitalization. The alternative would be to treat the tumour with radiation and chemotherapy and hope the cancer would not metastasize. My preference is to have the surgery. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. I will update this information when I have a date for the surgery.

More analysis by radiology

A scheduled “phone visit” with the thoracic surgeon happened today.

Smooth sailing

The additional CAT Scan (CT Scan) that I had on May 22 did not provide sufficient information about the possible spot in the liver. The earlier PET scan showed reduced “lit up” area around the tumor in the esophagus and the surgeon assured me today the effects of the radiation treatment will continue to shrink the tumor for several more weeks. The surgeon and radiologist will review the scans this week. They may seek more information from an MRI, if that is a reasonable strategy. If they decide there is not a problem in the liver, surgery on the esophagus could be scheduled in June. I am confident that the medical professionals are working to achieve the best outcome and I await further news this week. Thanks to family and friends for continued support.

PET's CAT's and surgery

On a typical Cinco De Mayo, people, mostly in Mexico and the southern United States, would be heading out to their favorite Mexican eatery to enjoy chips, cheese and tacos.

Around the bend

May 5, for me was the day scheduled by the Nova Scotia Health Authority to have a phone call appointment with the surgeon who would share the results of the PET Scan on April 20. He reported that the PET Scan was “less lit up” in the area of the esophagus tumor. This indicated to him that the chemo and radiation therapy did it’s job. He was prepared to schedule surgery except that the PET scan found a small pinpoint that “lit up” in the liver. He commented that this could be something or it could be nothing. He is going to schedule a CAT scan to take a closer, more detailed look at the liver. If the liver is something, some additional chemotherapy may be needed before surgery. The “hurry up” and “wait”, ebb and flow is a great way to practice patience. Those times in life, when we cannot see beyond the next bend in the road are opportunities to appreciate how I am held in the “between and betwixt” time by the loving support of family and friends. Thanks to all.

Reflections on Easter, health, and media connection

Today, Easter Monday finds me gaining weight and strength as I anticipate returning to the Cancer Centre in a couple of weeks for a PET Scan, that will be used to develop a surgery plan. In the meantime, I am following the directive of the premier to “stay the blazes home” as my immune system continues to build strength. Farris and I are practicing serious isolating and we are very thankful for the kind efforts of family and friends to deliver groceries and even whole meals to our door.

Easter Supper

The social group that includes George and Katie, Ashley and Ryan, and Amanda and Tanner (all with a child under 16 months) decided to work together on Easter Sunday to provide a delicious and complete Easter supper to their parents! Thanks for your generosity! The ZOOM, “Face Time”, YouTube, and Livestream applications on our computer have been very helpful in letting us see family, especially grandkids, face to face. Marshall McLuhan philosophized about the coolness of the TV media. (low-definition media that engages several senses less completely in that it demands a great deal of interaction on the part of the audience.) I found that the “online” Easter Liturgies were mostly an opportunity to remember past full body experiences in community with others. The lack of interaction with people and the absence of the “smells and bells” of Easter celebration is difficult to replace. We experience life as a full body event. This Covid-19, time offers an opportunity for us to understand how much human contact with other people is necessary for our fullness of life. I wish everyone a Blessed Easter and health and joy as we struggle through our isolation.

Back online after low energy period

The last update to this blog was on Friday March the 13th.

Isolate: Stay at Home

After a fairly steady weekend of self isolation, the warning of the radiation technologist at my last session on Monday the 16th; “It will get worse before it gets better” began to be realized by the end of that week. The reappearance of the blog today is a sign that I believe we have turned another corner to higher energy and decreased discomfort. The mode of living here is to follow the advice to stay at home and self isolate. Our relative comfort is thanks to Farris continuous efforts to keep us fed physically and spiritually with videos of our grandchildren and on line connection with our faith community. Today is grandson Reid’s fifth birthday and I recall what a blessing he has been in my life since his birth. We will celebrate a proper birthday later with family, friends, hot dogs, sausages, and birthday cake. So, I get the impression that my family, especially son George, tracks my well being as directly proportional to the number of posts I make on Facebook and/or the number of emails that I send. (He is probably correct). So thanks for your continued support and prayers and look for me online on the good days.

Treatment plan winding down as coronavirus goes up

This week of Mar 8-13 began with a fatigue build up that peaked last weekend and necessitated a slow down to rest most of the weekend and into Monday, last chemotherapy day, and Tuesday.

Moving along the journey

The ACCESS exercise program protocol requires me to assess my level of wellness before the exercise workout. I assessed on Tuesday, that I would not be working out. On Wednesday, for my radiation treatment, energy was returning and by Thursday, I had my radiation treatment, exercise session, and lunch at an excellent Dartmouth cafe with Farris and a very tasty soup. Yesterday, some of the responses in Nova Scotia to the coronavirus began to be more noticeable. (Toilet tissue sold out at Costco). The public health measures to contain the spread of the virus and reduce contact between people are today resulting in recommendations around hand washing, self monitoring, and self isolation for 14 days if you will be returning from travel to the US and Europe. I will have my last radiation appointment on Monday and will not be scheduled to return for a PET scan for about 4 weeks. This will improve my immune response at the time when the province expects some cases of COVID 19.



The journey in the Nova Scotia Cancer Centre for the past weeks has shown me how good we can be at caring for each other when in need. The spiritual reading I do frequently addresses our striving to transform from closed and selfish people to open, selfless, empathetic, and generous companions for our brothers and sisters. I am interested in “mindfulness” and the neuroscience around the process by which we are able to see our actions not be driven by the instinctive response of the “reptile brain”, or amygdala, but be transferred to the (PFC) prefrontal cortex where the often fear stimulated reaction to “fight, flee, or freeze” is given the opportunity to be dealt with rationally. I share the opinion of many that the opposite of Love is fear and the efforts made in so many ways in the Cancer Centre by health professionals, admin assistants, spouses, friends, children, brothers, sisters, grandchildren, other patients to comfort and care, especially for the those with fear, is hope for our ability to act during the coming COVID 19 times to care for the health of those most likely to be adversely affected by this virus.

Thank you for your continued support.

Reflection on transformation inspired by recent NASA article

The recent journey of my son Chris and his daughters Lilly and Emily to the Cocoa Beach region of Florida for spring training with Sack A Wa paddlers during March

Arriving in Florida

brings to mind sitting for lunch under a mock-up of the Saturn V rocket at the cafeteria of the Kennedy Space Centre during a visit in the 21st century, on NSCC College business, to the Community College on site that trains technicians for NASA.



Saturn 5 Launch

In my youth, the accomplishment of Apollo 11 landing on the moon and the safe return of Apollo 13 from the disaster that threatened the lives of the astronauts were events that gripped my imagination and accelerated my desire to work in the engineering of these electronic systems and computers that made these adventures possible. Research done by Kevin Fong of the Guardian found that when an oxygen tank blew during the 1970 Nasa moonshot, the successful rescue mission was thanks to Nasa organisation, not improvisation. Reflecting on that time when the massive rocket of brute force lifted the Apollo craft from earth with light as bright as the sun and sound proclaiming in thunder as shattering as any of the proclamations of ancient gods, I realize that we have transformed from a human privilege to have dominion over the peace and health of the Florida residents, manatee, dolphins, and other creatures in the waters, and the birds wildly scattering... to people who see the need to organize to protect our common home and the many species that face extinction as a consequence of our societal abuse of water and atmosphere in our throw away economy. The theme of transition when searched on my Ponder Patterns Blog brings to the top the type of decisions facing us and some connections to our financial, spiritual and moral health. The theme of transformation from contingency and chaos, in the Apollo 13 1970 event, to organization was started by flight director Gene Kranz when he passed the baton to a fresh incoming team under flight director Glynn Lunney. A search of the Stories from Plummer blog for “transformation” reveals links for our personal transformation in practices of contemplation and openness to the mystery of the mystical that, thankfully, is reconnecting us to people and nature as kin.

References

(2020, February 29). 50 Years on – how Apollo 13's near disastrous mission is .... Retrieved March 5, 2020, from https://www.theguardian.com/science/2020/feb/29/apollo-13-how-teamwork-and-tenacity-turned-disaster-into-triumph

Some new experiences in week 3 of treatment plan

The Monday chemotherapy treatment for the last two weeks has been in the “little treatment room” that has positions for two patients and one washroom for two patients, and a window with a view for one patient.

Halifax Public Gardens

My “buddy” this week had the view. (I had it last week). He is a mariner, near my age, (Merchant mariner with Captain’s papers) from a fishing community near Yarmouth who was so pleased not to stare out at bricks. Chemotherapy is on the 11th floor of the Victoria building and the view is toward the North towards the Public Gardens. We were able to engage in enough common interest conversation to move the time along very enjoyably.



My medical oncologist had warned that the increasing depletion of white cells in the therapy would likely increase immune system compromise. An infection early Tuesday morning raised my temperature over 38C and we followed the safety procedure of going to the GEII Emergency Dept where the triage nurse monitored the temperature until emerge priorities ushered in a battery of analysis tests culminating with antibiotics at about 9:30 am that acted very quickly to return my temperature to a normal level and allowed the nurse at the Cancer Centre to approve my continuation of radiation treatment later Tuesday morning.



On Wednesday, I was ready for my ACCESS fitness session at 9:00, my Radiation treatment at 10:00, and Blood Collection (to recheck white cell levels from Tuesday morning) at 11:00. The day ends with energy up, temperature normal, and side effects minimal. All is good.



Thanks for your continued prayers and support.

I will be keeping you posted.

Getting Access to increased strength

The week of Feb 24-28 has started and I have reached the halfway point in radiation treatment and have completed 3 of 5 chemotherapy visits.

Warm day for outdoor exercise

Yesterday I was guided through day one of the 12 week study of the effect of fitness on cancer recovery, called the Access Program. A kinesiology student volunteer from Dal showed me how to do the 20 “exercises” on treadmills, bikes, weight machine, free weights, and balance routines that will be my training regime. For the study, I record my energy and fatigue levels before and after each session. Any additional exercise, mostly walking, is similarly logged in a home based report. I was really glad to feel my muscles being challenged again and that “slight burn” indicating strengthening is most welcome. The boost in good feeling from those endorphins was appreciated all day.


The sense of weakness that sometimes comes with serious medical treatment can be resisted when the body actually senses strength development through exercise. I am really pleased to have begun this program.

After 2 weeks on the treatment plan

Today we had a check up visit with Dr Snow, the chemotherapy oncologist. Her nurse, a medical student and Dr. Snow all reviewed my progress and answered any questions.

Winter walk

I reported that the side effects, so far have been minimal, some constipation from anti-nausea drugs and some skin irritation from radiation. Both effects are easily mitigated. The doctor was pleased with my progress. I have been finding it easier to swallow and we agreed that it was a likely indication that the tumour is shrinking as planned. Farris and I went to a little Vietnamese restaurant for some Pho and vermicelli noodles. I had no trouble with the Pho and it was delicious.

I have been accepted into a physical fitness study/program that will have a physiotherapist and a personal trainer develop exercises for strength and endurance using a very nice “gym room” near the Cancer Centre. I will go there twice a week for a 45 minute session. The exercise program is for 12 weeks and they will follow me as part of their research for 15 months. They are doing a trial with 300 cancer patients to determine what effect regular physical activity has on treatment and recovery.

I have 3 weeks of daily radiation ahead and 3 more chemotherapy treatments. We meet with Dr Snow again on Mar 9.

One of the compensating benefits of this journey is the visits I am able to have with my children and grand daughters as they often volunteer to drive me into Halifax for my treatments.

I am very thankful to find so many kind and friendly people along the way. We really are our best people when we care for others. I continue to be thankful for the attention to my care in your messages, thoughts and prayers. It really helps!

Observations on Cancer treatment start

I have started a treatment plan that the radiation oncologist,

Some of the extended family

on Jan 22, described as a plan of radiation and chemo-therapy, to reduce the size of an "Adenocarcinoma" (tumor in esophagus) prior to surgery.

I have completed 2 of 25 daily visits over 5 weeks to the Cancer Centre for 20 minutes of radiation therapy.

On Monday’s, for six weeks, I will have about 3 hrs of intravenous chemotherapy. I have completed one chemotherapy session.

I have been advised that the typical side effects of the radiation will be some tiredness and the chemo may produce some nausea. I have been taking anti-nausea medication and so far I have not experienced any side effects of the treatment.



I am impressed by the health professionals at the Cancer centre. Their friendliness, confidence, skills and empathy have encouraged my optimism. I sense the benefits of the concern, prayers, and well wishes of family and friends. More to come.

I hope to use this blog as an update media and a log of this journey.